Is God The Cable Guy?

larry-the-cable-guy1Cable companies have never been cool.  They were cooler than having rabbit years with the homemade aluminum foil extensions.  The coolest was Satellite.  TV from outerspace and 300 hundred channels.  Satellite is cool.  But with the advent of the Internet, all of a sudden cable became popular.  Cable was the star of one of those after school specials where the fat girl gets skinny, ditches the coke-bottle glasses, magically gets a new hairdo and make-up from her sexually ambiguous male friend, goes clothes shopping with him and becomes drop dead gorgeous.  That is cable.  Fast Internet, programming, phone service, DVR.  Yeah!!!!  Add to that HD.  Wow!! Cable gets voted Prom Queen!  She is hot!!!!  She’s All That!

As great as Cable is what happens when it goes down?

We usually call the cable company, and if you have ever called you realize that cable companies do not want you to bother them.  They make it as hard as possible to call and even harder to reach a live person.  The number for my cable company is 1-800-DON’T-CALL.  Of course, if you want to call about someone stealing cable the number is 1-800-CALL-NOW and on the first ring answers the most polite American person you have ever reached.  But not when you call to get something fixed!  The first thing you hear is, “ For English, dial 1; or para espanol, numero dos.“ Unfortunately, whichever you dial you will be speaking to someone in Bangladesh.  You thought English with a strong Indian accent was bad; imagine speaking to someone named Julio Iglesias in Spanish with a heavy Indian accent.  Well, after you have made your preferred language selection then it asks you to dial your 32 digit account number.  So you enter 32 digits and forget to enter one and it tells you “I’m sorry, that is an invalid account number.  Please try again.”  By God’s grace you get all 32 numbers in and you hear, “Due to high call volumes your call will probably be not answered and you should hang up and just watch the blue screen on your tv.”  But you endure because you have to have Internet and your wife has to have her HGTV and America’s Next Top Model.  After an eternity, an agent named George Washington gets on the line and asks you for the 32 digit account number again.  Then one by one you have to give it to him hoping that he gets it right.  So he asks you what the trouble is and you describe it to him and say what you have done to try and solve it.  So the first thing that he asks you to do is unplug the modem or the cable box.  Of course you told him that you have done this, but of course he doesn’t listen.  Then he asks you for the 109 serial numbers on the modem or cable box.  So one by one I call out the numbers, letters and obscure hieroglyphics.   After all that they say, “Ok, we need to send a cable guy for you.”  Well, I could have told you that a half hour ago, but we had to have the space shuttle ignition countdown before we could figure it out.  Anyway, the agent says, “We have availability on Wednesday the 15th two weeks from today.”  I ask if there is anything closer to today?  Silence on the other end of the line.  When making appointments with cable companies there are no questions. You take what you are given.  Period.  Well, I took the appointment and asked, “What time will the cable guy be here?  “They will be there between the hours of 8:00 AM and…”  Which means.  They will be there between the hours of 8:00 AM and when it is least convenient for you.  Or between 8:00 AM and when you are in the shower and don’t hear them and they leave you a note saying they came and won’t be back for another two weeks.  Or between 8:00 AM and when you have to have a dental or medial procedure done.  Hmmmm.  Get my appendix out or get cable back? I don’t know about you, but my bursting appendix can wait.  I need my ESPN.

Sometimes I feel like God is like the Cable Guy.  He works between the hours of 8:00 AM and ???

Jesus said of Himself

“Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.”(Matt 24.44 KJV)

Why can’t He work at 9:15 AM or 2:45 PM or 3:35 PM?  Why can’t He work at a specific time?  Why can’t I tap it into my blackberry, or ical, or outlook or entourage or scheduler?  Why will He not give me a specific time? 

C’mon, you are God, not some outsourced underpaid customer service rep.   You are the Alpha and The Omega, the beginning and the end! (Rev 21.6)   You declare the end from the beginning. (Is 46.10).  So I know you – you know what time you are getting here.  

How about telling me when… not in between the hours of  8:00 AM and…

When is my marriage going to be healed?
When will I get another job?
When will my children cross line of faith?
When will I be healed?
When will my broken heart be healed?
When will I get married?
When will my ministry be discovered?
When will my church grow?

The writer of Ecclesiastes tells us

“God made everything beautiful in itself and in its timebut he’s left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he’s coming or going.” Ecc 3:11(MSG)

Between the hours of 8:00 AM and….

If it seems slow in coming, wait.
It’s on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3(MSG)

Right on time?  Can you tell when that time is going to be?

Yes.  Between the hours of 8:00 AM and…

Next time I will finish up  God the Cable Guy and we will discuss why He choses to work between the hours of 8:00 AM and …



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11 responses to “Is God The Cable Guy?

  1. Bobbi

    Then the “real” guy comes then one you had to wait for through 2 dumb guys that kept pretending they were fixing the problem but even after hours in your living room still can’t figure out how your brand new tv hooks up to the brand new cable box. And then hours of tech support and finally….they send the real deal-THE MAN-he comes in, looks around, takes a piece of fuzz off of the connector and………..MAGIC -clear as a bell , all of the channels, sound , the whole package.
    was he worth waiting for?

  2. Hey Chico, welcome to the wonderful world of blogging. I enjoyed your first post and look forward to what’s in store.

  3. Karen D

    great great read. I am a bit of a blog addict, so will definitely add yours to the list. Miss all of you, give your wife a whole lot of love from me. Hopefully I can see you all this summer.

  4. mark schilling

    this is mark schilling. i came across your blog and really enjoyed it.

  5. Hey C, great blog, good thing your wife did the advertising for it, or I might have missed it.

  6. donna

    funny which one of us hasn’t had to deal with the cable company so true…good analogy !But much more rewardin to wait on God cuz He will come thru ya never really know with the cable guy!!LOL

  7. kirsten

    Thanks, very encouraging.

  8. Pingback: Is God The Cable Guy Part 2 «

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