Coming Thursday: Travel Technology Tips

Keep on the lookout for my post called Travel Technology Thursdays. In these posts I will be discussing and reviewing tech items that assist in traveling.

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Is God The Cable Guy Part 2

So last time you visited we were talking about Is God the Cable Guy. We discussed that God works in the hours between 8:00 AM and…

This is really frustrating. I want God and my cable guy to give me a specific time that they are going to show up. When my life is falling apart, my marriage is falling apart or when my I’ve lost my job, I am not looking for “between the hours of 8:00 AM and”… I want to know that God is going to knock on the door of my problem at 2:22 on Monday afternoon.

Unfortunately, that is not often how He works. How He works is between the hours of 8:00 AM and…

But why does He do this?

Because it will be inconvenient for you. I love convenience. I love any technology that will make my life more convenient. I can’t think of any greater convenience than the drive-thru. With four kids and their friends in our vehicle, I especially love drive-thrus. drive-thru If you are ever in the Woo-mobile, here are the drive-thru laws:

  1. You will shout out your own order to the brightly lit box with the scratchy weird voice. Don’t expect me to remember everyone’s stuff. You are in charge of your own drive-thru destiny.
  2. Order by combo number. Do not order anything outside of the convenient combo meal numbers. Do not deviate from this. Don’t ask for “no cheese” or “half cheese” or “no pickles” or “no bun”. They say you can have it your way, but not in my vehicle.
  3. Order combo number no greater than 4. If you order anything above that, it is usually some exotic item that has special needs. They don’t want you ordering above combo number 4.  That is why when you order above a combo number 4 they make you pull up and hang in the penalty box. You sit 20 minutes waiting for your stupid chicken or fish sandwich. Next time you order above a number 4, you are walking home. I don’t care if you are five and have short legs.
  4. Immediately inventory check when you get your food. If you have a missing order, quickly tell us. Don’t wait. As long as the rear bumper does not cross the window, you are okay to report AWOL items. When the rear bumper has passed the window, it is too late.  I am not the Marines. We will leave a cheeseburger behind.

So why does God inconvenience us?  Because inconvenience is the true mirror of our priorities and values. People can write blogs or mission or vision statements, but you only truly value what you are willing to be inconvenienced about. If I value my ESPN, I am going to be inconvenienced and stay home and wait for the cable guy. If I value my family or marriage or children or true financial freedom or ministry or simply change in certain areas of my life, then I will be inconvenienced and wait upon God.

Here is a thought to ponder.

The degree that you are willing to be inconvenienced is the degree that you are willing to change.

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Not Shamwow but Soul Wow

I thought this was funny. A Shamwow parody by Catholic churches in NYC. If Youtube does not let you see it embedded than click on here.

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Susan Boyle surprises Simon Cowell

 

Someone just forwarded this to me.  (Note Youtube is not allowing embedding of this so click on here) I was totally blown away by Susan Boyle.  She is amazing!  I have to admit, I was like one of the famous jaded judges.   I was thinking she was going to be one of those clueless contestants that have delusions of stardom.  But when Susan Boyle began to sing I was shocked.  It is amazing to see the change of expression from the judges – particularly Simon Cowell- and then to see the audience respond.  The best part is the song Susan Boyles chose, a song from one of my favorite musicals,” Les Miserables”, called I Dreamed A Dream.

  I grew up in NYC and in NYC public schools they made you take school trips to Broadway.  I did not enjoy our trips to Broadway.  But after I became a Christian, a girl I was interested in invited me to see “Les Miserables”.  I went only because I liked her, not because I cared about musicals.  Much to my surprise I really enjoyed it!  I liked it so much I began to tear up.  If you know me, I am not a very outwardly emotional person, so I don’t usually cry during musicals.  The reason was the revelation I was getting about the book of Romans.  That afternoon, sitting in the theater on Broadway through the story of Victor Hugo I began to understand one of the most difficult books in the Bible.  I began to see how the struggle of Jean Valjean and Jarvet was the struggle of Grace versus Law.  At the end and throughout, it shows how Grace wins over Law.  At that moment I realized how great God’s grace is in my life.   Romans 5:20 says “When it’s sin versus grace, grace wins hands down.” 

In the next couple of weeks our church is going to be doing a series called Life’s Big Equation.  The message of the series is that the biggest equation in life is that God’s Grace is Greater Than…

Greater than my failures, my insecurities, my inabilities, my excuses, my accomplishments, my possessions, my status, my divorce, my singleness, my heartache, my disease, my loneliness and my sin…

Life’s Big Equation is simply that God’s Grace is Greater Than….

Enjoy Susan Boyle singing and hope to see you at one of our campuses for this series.

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What is all the fuss about Easter weekend?

I posted the following status update  in Twitter and Facebook

“Chico Woo Easter is awesome. Jesus rose, Wife leading choir, many new people, many people crossing line of faith, Easter dinner, Tiger at Augusta.”

My friend who will remain nameless to protect her identity made a funny reply to my status.  She replied

 “then of course… the Chr-easters…..lol”

Chr-easters def.  people that only come to church on Christmas and Easter.

If you know my friend she is a very funny and at the same time a very sensitive and caring person.    Unfortunately, the subleties of humor don’t always get translated on facebook.  Which resulted in some of the posters to kinda reprimand her for her insensitivity.  My friend quickly apologized and I think everything is okay and order and peace has been restored in facebook world.

 As I was reading the exchange on my wall it reminded me of a video I saw a twitterer had posted this morning.  I’m new to this so I don’t know how to reference it back to this twittering pastor but his post stated “Why we do what we do”  This was in reference to this Easter weekend.  He linked a video of Matt Chandler which was very moving.  I have linked it above. 

For me the video answered why do we do all that we do for Easter.  Why do dramas?  Why do we do special songs?  Why do we have choirs?  Which my wife will again splendidly lead.  Why do we spend money on advertisement?  Why do preachers prepare extra?   Why invited people?!! Why all the fuss?!!  Because as my friend stated the Chr-easters are coming.  That Chr-easter may represent your friend or your husband or your boyfriend or girlfriend, your son or daugther, your mother or father, your sister or brother.  Why all the fuss?!!  Because maybe this weekend that Chr-easters will cross the line of faith and become a Christ follower.

I am praying and hoping for our church and all churches that I know that their building and services will be full of Chr-easters and that the dramas, special songs, choirs and their sermons will impact people so that Chr-easters may become Christ followers.

 

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Is God The Cable Guy?

larry-the-cable-guy1Cable companies have never been cool.  They were cooler than having rabbit years with the homemade aluminum foil extensions.  The coolest was Satellite.  TV from outerspace and 300 hundred channels.  Satellite is cool.  But with the advent of the Internet, all of a sudden cable became popular.  Cable was the star of one of those after school specials where the fat girl gets skinny, ditches the coke-bottle glasses, magically gets a new hairdo and make-up from her sexually ambiguous male friend, goes clothes shopping with him and becomes drop dead gorgeous.  That is cable.  Fast Internet, programming, phone service, DVR.  Yeah!!!!  Add to that HD.  Wow!! Cable gets voted Prom Queen!  She is hot!!!!  She’s All That!

As great as Cable is what happens when it goes down?

We usually call the cable company, and if you have ever called you realize that cable companies do not want you to bother them.  They make it as hard as possible to call and even harder to reach a live person.  The number for my cable company is 1-800-DON’T-CALL.  Of course, if you want to call about someone stealing cable the number is 1-800-CALL-NOW and on the first ring answers the most polite American person you have ever reached.  But not when you call to get something fixed!  The first thing you hear is, “ For English, dial 1; or para espanol, numero dos.“ Unfortunately, whichever you dial you will be speaking to someone in Bangladesh.  You thought English with a strong Indian accent was bad; imagine speaking to someone named Julio Iglesias in Spanish with a heavy Indian accent.  Well, after you have made your preferred language selection then it asks you to dial your 32 digit account number.  So you enter 32 digits and forget to enter one and it tells you “I’m sorry, that is an invalid account number.  Please try again.”  By God’s grace you get all 32 numbers in and you hear, “Due to high call volumes your call will probably be not answered and you should hang up and just watch the blue screen on your tv.”  But you endure because you have to have Internet and your wife has to have her HGTV and America’s Next Top Model.  After an eternity, an agent named George Washington gets on the line and asks you for the 32 digit account number again.  Then one by one you have to give it to him hoping that he gets it right.  So he asks you what the trouble is and you describe it to him and say what you have done to try and solve it.  So the first thing that he asks you to do is unplug the modem or the cable box.  Of course you told him that you have done this, but of course he doesn’t listen.  Then he asks you for the 109 serial numbers on the modem or cable box.  So one by one I call out the numbers, letters and obscure hieroglyphics.   After all that they say, “Ok, we need to send a cable guy for you.”  Well, I could have told you that a half hour ago, but we had to have the space shuttle ignition countdown before we could figure it out.  Anyway, the agent says, “We have availability on Wednesday the 15th two weeks from today.”  I ask if there is anything closer to today?  Silence on the other end of the line.  When making appointments with cable companies there are no questions. You take what you are given.  Period.  Well, I took the appointment and asked, “What time will the cable guy be here?  “They will be there between the hours of 8:00 AM and…”  Which means.  They will be there between the hours of 8:00 AM and when it is least convenient for you.  Or between 8:00 AM and when you are in the shower and don’t hear them and they leave you a note saying they came and won’t be back for another two weeks.  Or between 8:00 AM and when you have to have a dental or medial procedure done.  Hmmmm.  Get my appendix out or get cable back? I don’t know about you, but my bursting appendix can wait.  I need my ESPN.

Sometimes I feel like God is like the Cable Guy.  He works between the hours of 8:00 AM and ???

Jesus said of Himself

“Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.”(Matt 24.44 KJV)

Why can’t He work at 9:15 AM or 2:45 PM or 3:35 PM?  Why can’t He work at a specific time?  Why can’t I tap it into my blackberry, or ical, or outlook or entourage or scheduler?  Why will He not give me a specific time? 

C’mon, you are God, not some outsourced underpaid customer service rep.   You are the Alpha and The Omega, the beginning and the end! (Rev 21.6)   You declare the end from the beginning. (Is 46.10).  So I know you – you know what time you are getting here.  

How about telling me when… not in between the hours of  8:00 AM and…

When is my marriage going to be healed?
When will I get another job?
When will my children cross line of faith?
When will I be healed?
When will my broken heart be healed?
When will I get married?
When will my ministry be discovered?
When will my church grow?

The writer of Ecclesiastes tells us

“God made everything beautiful in itself and in its timebut he’s left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he’s coming or going.” Ecc 3:11(MSG)

Between the hours of 8:00 AM and….

If it seems slow in coming, wait.
It’s on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3(MSG)

Right on time?  Can you tell when that time is going to be?

Yes.  Between the hours of 8:00 AM and…

Next time I will finish up  God the Cable Guy and we will discuss why He choses to work between the hours of 8:00 AM and …

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TOP TEN MISCONCEPTIONS OF ASIANS

eyes1

I live in Upstate NY where there are not many Asians.  I can probably count on one hand the Asians that live in my city.  Since there are so few of us – many people in our area have misconceptions about Asians.  Thus I decided to help my fellow Upstate New Yorkers to understand us.  Please enjoy.

1. Asians eat cat. We don’t eat household pets. I wish they would do a Mythbuster episode on this.

2. We are all Chinese or all look alike. I like Chinese people but I am not Chinese I am Korean.

Chinese, Japanese we all don’t look like deeze.

3. We are oriental. We are not rugs we are Asians. 

4. We all know Karate, Kung Fu, Judo, Tango. Actually this is true. All asian school children must attend after school lessons at Shalonin Temple and train in between SAT tutoring and piano lessons.

5. We cannot see out of our eyes. People have asked if our vision is limited because our eyes are smaller. Believe me, you don’t need good eyesight to recognize ignorance.

6. We all know each other. “You are Korean!!! Hey do you know Janet Kim?” No

7. We eat rice at every meal. True

8. Asian women are bad drivers. Yes true but so are all women. Just kidding. My dad is a bad driver but that is only because he is old. Ooops Just kidding. I think I just offended women and old people uhm I mean seniors.

9. Asians are nerds. Yes, education is important to Asians but believe me there are dumb Asians. That just means that they charge less to tutor your lazy dumb…

10. Asians are hard of hearing.  YOU DON’T NEED TO YELL AT US IN BROKEN ENGLISH.  WE CAN HEAR YOU!!!!!

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